Samurai Luan
by Mitchell Movie Productions
Summary: After a day of humilation, Luan Loud dreams where she's in a world where Louise Belcher now enjoys complete power over every living thing. Dubbing herself "Allison," she sets out on a new quest-to right the wrongs that have been done by her enemy and to find a way back to her own time so he can destroy the evil for good.
1. Bedtime

Luan Loud wasn't feeling good lately, she just got pranked by Louise Belcher in the worst imaginable way. She ran off to the Loud house, crying in tears. That night, she resolved to eat ice cream while watching TV.

Lincoln was getting ready for bed, in his pajamas, which consisted of a San Fransisco 49ers shirt, and grey underwear. Luan, on the other hand, is watching Chowder to drown out the sorrow. And she was also eating a bowl of Ice Cream as well, much to Lincoln's concern.

"Are you sure you should be eating junk food before bed?" Lincoln asked, out of concern. "You know what that does to you, Luan."

"I'll be fine, Lincoln, I'm watching TV." Luan said, confidently.

"What are you watching, anyway?" Lincoln asked again.

"Garbage, there's nothing good on Cartoon Network anymore. Not even Nickelodeon." Luan complained, citing that Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon isn't good as it used to be.

"So why watch it?" Lincoln asked once more.

"Well, all the other shows are worse, and there's nothing to do." Luan replied.

Lincoln gasped, then replied, "WHAT?! Nothing to do? You could go to bed right away!"

"So I could stop being reminded of my constant failure to humiliate Louise!" Luan shouted.

"Don't stay up too late." Lincoln scoffs.

An a hour went by, and Luan fell asleep on the couch, and she was sleeping ever so peacefully, and then, this is where we see her dream:

Louise Belcher: (Narration) Long ago in a distant land, I, Louise, the shape-shifting queen of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish samurai goddess, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. (Flashbacks of Luan gaining the upperhand Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung her into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Louise!


	2. Prologue: Gotta Get Back

Luan Loud awoke immediately lying on the ground, he noticed a bunch of of aliens and humanoid monster beings looking concerned for Luan. She looked really concerned.

"What the-?" Luan yelped in horror as she got up and found herself in a futuristic dark city. "Where am I?"

"Louise has destroyed everything. Our familes, our friends, the ones we love, our home, everything's ruined." An alien monster said, sadly.

"What?" Luan gasps. "Louise?!"

"She grabbed all the magical power from Anti-Fairy world, and Fairy World and used them for the wrong purposes. For evil! To take over the world!" The 2nd monster said.

"*gasp* Just like Donald Trump!" Luan said, angrily. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything! Starting with Louise!"

Luan began to run before one of the aliens stopped her as it said, "You're a foolish mortal if you think you have a chance against someone like Louise? She's almighty and all powerful! Powerful than the entire Justice League and the Avengers combined!"

"I think I'll manage." Luan said, before noticing a sword behind her back. She pulled it out and it started to glow. She's confused, swords can't do this. No way! "Why is the sword glowing?"

The crowds of people gasp in awe.

"That's the sword that could defeat Louise Belcher!" An alien said, Luan smiled happily as the crowd cheered her on. Luan then said, "I guess it's time for Louise to watch her favorite show...Blade!"

Luan laughed as the crowd groaned. Another pun ruined a serious moment.

"But seriously, I shall vanquish the one they call Louise!" Luan said, in determination to defeat Louise Belcher!

The crowd went back to cheering her on as she walked out of the city. She could defeat Louise and end this nightmare once and for all!

Luan muttered to herself, "50 years have apparently passed, but I do not age. Time has lost its effect on me. And yet, the suffering continues. Louise grasp chokes the past, present, and future. Louise has destroyed everything. I'll make sure Louise never destroys anyone else again! On one condition. Gotta get back. Back to the past. Samurai Luan."

And so the journey begins...

 _ **Well, it's time for Luan Loud to begin her Journey to defeat and kill Louise, the Shapeshifting Queen of Darkness.**_

 _ **Luan: Well, I guess this is a dream come true! (Laughs)**_

 _ **Louise Belcher: SHUT UP!**_

 _ **Me: Easy girls, because the Next chapter, a familiar Bully is going to be the Scotsman, and a familiar Halfa Teenager is going to be a certain dog, and the half dragon will be here as well! Until then, read, review, and please suggest!**_


	3. XCI

Luan was walking through the forests, looking around for anything suspicious. It would seem as if she's been walking forever. She's been walking through forests, cities, stadiums, it seems as if she's been walking for miles and miles from a nice warm bed. It's been days, she's tired, hungry, lost. And to make things worse, nothing interesting happened.

Luan decided to pass the time by telling puns to herself, "Hey, what did the monster say when the pizza owner asked what kind of stuffed pizza he wanted? Extra thicc!"

She laughs as she tells another pun, "What did the..."

But she is interrupted by something...inhuman. She quickly turns to see 5 robotic like beings. Gasping in shock, she pulls out her sword as she gets ready to do battle, however, 2 black bars ruined the moment for her as they narrowed the vision in a dramatic vision. Annoyed, Luan chops the bars in half. Going back to what she was doing, she yells out in anger as she swings her sword at a robot, slicing his right arm off, and another swing resulted in its head being chopped off, a few more sword swings resulted in chopped body parts.

"I guess he got too much of the _slice_ of the action!" Luan joked. She jumped at another robot and sliced it in half, causing it to blow up.

"I bet Luna would love to sing a song that _cuts_ like a knife for you!" Luan joked again as she laughed. The 3 remaining robots were getting really angered. She didn't care as she jumped at them and sliced their heads off, blowing them up as well.

"I guess that's going on the cutting floor!" Luan then joked as she laughed. Then, she gasps in shock as she heard a step towards her, she runs up to that someone, and that someone is none other than Sora, Holder of the keyblade.

Luan yelps as he stops in her tracks. She could've gotten Sora seriously hurt!

"Oh, sorry. Just be glad that you weren't sliced in half." Luan chuckled.

"Not with a TV-Y7 rating I won't be." Sora said, rolling his eyes.

"Give it a few chapters." Luan said, laughing. "Get it? Who are you anyway?"

"I am Sora, Holder of the Keyblade." Sora said, wielding his keyblade. "And I've heard from a bunch a monks about how you channeled your inner strength to defeat Bill Cipher. My friends and I have heard of your stories of when you saved all those intellegent dogs, helped millions of people across the galaxy."

"Your friends?" Luan asks.

"Daniel the Phantasm, Jake Long The Dragon of Fire, Jack Spicer, and Terrence the Scotsman." Sora then said. "Ever since Louise ruined everything and made us lose everything we've had, we've banded together as a resistance to Louise. Perhaps you'd be interested to join?"

"I'm sorry, but I must fight Louise alone." Luan said in grief as she continued her journey.

 ** _Meanwhile at Louise's castle_**

Louise Belcher, the Demonic Witch herself, was playing around with her magic and looking bored.

"Ugh...nothing ever happens that's interesting around here!" Louise then said. "Where's Gene and his annoying music beats?"

"Gene is out hunting for Samurai Luan." Linda was heard. "Louise, if you want something done, why don't you do it yourself?"

"You think I would want to do something that easy? I would if it wasn't for that sword and the fact there are others out there!" Louise said, bored as she stretched to her journal.

"Louise, if you want to get rid of Luan Loud for good, you need to get help from someone. Like that cult for example, ain't they training those boys that happen to be around Luan's age?"

"The Boyfriends of Louise?" Louise lightens up. "Yes...I always wanted to pay a visit."

 **Miniseries note: If anyone has any Samurai Jack Ideas you want me to parody, please leave a review!**


	4. XCII

Luan was walking through the forests, then she noticed a noise. Bagpipes? Luan walked closer to the noise, but the noise was getting louder as she walked closer to it. But the noise was becoming more obnoxious. And she noticed on a not so steady bridge that there's a girl playing the bagpipes.

Luan ran over to the noise, only to see a 11 year old girl. She has her mother's red hair, pale freckled skin, and head shape. She has her father's unibrow, nose, and ears. She wears her hair in long pigtails without any visible hair ties. Helga usually wears a red dress with a red stripe over a white shirt and a large pink bow in her hair. Her name was Helga Pataki, the Scotswoman.

Helga noticed the Samurai as she said in a scottish accent, "Well, whatdya think you're doin? You like the bagpipes?"

"I seek to to get to my destination. Please stand aside." Luan then said.

"And risk fallin' over the side for a perfect stranger? Criminy! You stand aside!" Helga scoffed.

"...My destination lies at the opposite end of the bridge." Luan then said.

"And you'll get there after you back up and I reach that end o' the bridge first!" Helga then said, pointing at the forest behind Luan. Luan rolls her eyes. She's got better things to do.

"That would waste too much time, which is what I don't have." Luan then said. "So, sorry if I'm _ticking_ you off!"

Luan laughed as Helga is annyoed by this.

"Sooo, ye think yer better than me cos yer in a hurry! Well, I'm in a hurry too! But, no, ya didn't think o' that, did ya? That I might be an equal! Nooo, ya just consider yerself superior, right off ye ol' bat."

"I think you misunderstood me."

"What? Ye think I'm dumb, too? I've written poems about a certain lover, too!"

"No, I... Look, we are both in a hurry, so I shall hang from these planks and you may walk right over."

"So ya get to peek up me kilt?"

"That is what I never suggested. Your mother and father would be infuriated if that happened."

"So ya say, ya plucky-face hinoot."

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me!"

Then Luan stabbed the bagpipes, flattening them.

"I guess your musical career is in the trash _bag!_ " Luan joked.

"You call that a sword?" Helga laughed as she pulled out her sword, which is as big as a HD flat screen. "Now this is a sword, you Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh Vile-Stoochie, Cully-Breek Tattie!"

Helga was about to throw a sword swing at Luan, but Luan's magical sword ruined the moment as she used it as she blocked the sword.

And so began a sword fight that had both opponents at equal power. Both blocked the swords with ease, however to add insult to injury the fight went from noon to the next morning around.

To be continued...


End file.
